How the Hell Do You Turn a Phrase Family Guy

Family Guy (Idiot box Series)

Tea Peter (2012)

Glenn Quagmire : Hey you ever accidentally masturbate to young pictures of your mom?

Peter Griffin : Who the fuck starts a conversation similar that? I just sat down.

Peter Griffin : Carter? Oh hey. You lot're involved with the Tea Political party? Wait a infinitesimal. This is what Brian was warning me virtually: that the Tea Party is run by rich guys who are only out for themselves.

Carter Pewterschmidt : Brian? You mean that arrogant, unemployed domestic dog of yours? Peter, he's just one of those liberal elites who spreads lies and hates patriots.

Peter Griffin : Yes, he kinda is.

Stewie Griffin : Non to alarm anyone only a guy took me into the closet to try me on. I fit past the way.

Tea Political party Rally Speaker : Welcome, everyone! Information technology's slap-up to encounter and so many regular people out here. Folks who are tired of big government and are fix to stand upwardly for their rights.

Tea Party Member : Yeah!

Tea Party Fellow member : Down with the Spend-o-crats!

Peter Griffin : We are Marshall!

Joe Swanson : Boy, they're really against socialism.

Peter Griffin : That's right. The Tea Party is all about self-reliance. Look, there's even a Tunnel of Self-Beloved.

[as customers enter the ride, they're each given a re-create of Playboy magazine]

Ride Attendant : [to a customer coming out] Would you like to purchase a photo of yourself on the ride, sir?

Male Customer : No, I would non.

Carter Pewterschmidt : All correct, now, remember, the Tea Party is a grassroots movement. We're not covered past the lamestream media, so we gotta accomplish out to the common human individually.

Peter Griffin : Correct, common man.

[he dials a telephone number]

Woman on Phone : [picking upwards] Hello?

Peter Griffin : Aw, jeez, information technology's... it'due south a girl.

[Carter shakes his head in disapproval]

Peter Griffin : May I speak to the man of the house?

Woman on Phone : This is the woman of the house, and in that location is no human living here.

Peter Griffin : No? West-W-What is... I-I... how are you paying for this phone?

Woman on Phone : I'm a lawyer.

Peter Griffin : Oh, I run into, and are you in your lilliputian courthouse right now representing Barbie?

[she hangs upwardly]

Peter Griffin : Okay, one vote for the Tea Party.

Carter Pewterschmidt : All right, kiss government goodbye.

Peter Griffin : Yep, I can't wait to burn all them urban center employees, starting with that half-asleep construction worker.

[cut to him in traffic approaching structure on the sidewalk; the worker holds upward a stop sign while simultaneously waving him forward]

Peter Griffin : What the hell? W-W-Which one is it, stop or go forward? This is a big deal. They're not at all similar.

[the worker turns his sign around, which reads "slow"]

Peter Griffin : Ah, no, no, no, no. Yous, sir, have lost my business organisation.

[he gets out of the auto and walks away]

Carter Pewterschmidt : Yous and I are both businessmen who work difficult and pay taxes. Except that I brand 10,000 times what yous brand.

Peter Griffin : Yeah, we're the same, y'all and me.

Carter Pewterschmidt : Yous know, Peter, the truth is, I could actually employ a regular guy similar y'all to help get our message out, and I know Joe Workingman agrees with me.

[putting on his difficult hat with a fake wig]

Carter Pewterschmidt : Dearest to accept you on board, Peter.

Peter Griffin : Wow, thanks, Joe. You can count on me.

[Carter takes the disguise off]

Peter Griffin : Aw, Carter, yous just missed Joe Workingman.

Carter Pewterschmidt : [amused express mirth] Oh, I think he'll know I was here.

[he starts laughing diabolically, and Peter joins in nervously]

Peter Griffin : I'k not sure what's happening.

Brian Griffin : The Tea Party isn't the grassroots move you think it is. Information technology'due south actually funded by big-business organization types who are using you to get the regime out of their style so they can roll over everyone.

Stewie Griffin : Mom held hands with a woman at the gas station this morning. Don't know what that means. Just reporting it.

Brian Griffin : All I'1000 saying is you lot're being used and you lot're too clueless to know information technology.

Peter Griffin : Male child, you only recall you're then superior, don't yous? Similar that commencement creature to walk on dry land.

[cutaway]

Fish #one : Hey, where'd yous go?

2nd Creature : Ah, I went for a jog.

Fish #1 : What's a jog?

Second Brute : It'south a great manner to stay in shape is what it is.

Fish #three : Is it similar a swim?

Second Creature : [condescening express mirth] No, no, it's, it'due south null like a swim.

Peter Griffin : Wow, a lot of people here today.

Glenn Quagmire : Yeah. Man, I beloved street fairs. They got rides, games, and ethic food cooked horribly by white Americans.

Taco Lover #2 : [with a thick Bostonian accent] Tack-os! Hot tack-bone hither!

Taco Lover : Oh, are those tack-os?

Taco Lover #2 : You lot better believe they're tack-os.

Taco Lover : I love tack-os! Especially on a corn tor-till-uh.

Taco Lover #two : Oh! I love tack-bone on a corn tor-till-uh!

Lois Griffin : Oh, hullo, Peter. How was your rally?

Peter Griffin : Oh, information technology was keen, and at present I know information technology's the right cause to go behind 'cause a smart guy like your dad is involved.

Brian Griffin : What? Carter was at the Tea Political party rally?

Peter Griffin : Yeah, he was running the whole thing.

Brian Griffin : Peter, what did I tell you about rich guys?

Peter Griffin : Expect, I know what you're thinking, Brian, but don't worry. Information technology's all okay. Turns out you're the enemy. They're the ones who are on our side.

Brian Griffin : [sarcastic] Oh, of grade, Carter Pewterschmidt, an industrialist with oil refineries in this city, is on your side. He wants to get rid of environmental regulations for y'all.

Stewie Griffin : Brian, he doesn't get sarcasm.

Peter Griffin : No, information technology's not just ecology regulations, Brian. Carter wants to become rid of the whole urban center government of Quahog. He even put me in charge of the PR campaign to do it.

Lois Griffin : Get rid of the authorities? Peter, if I know my dad, he'southward probably using you.

Peter Griffin : Lois, I'm so glad yous've done the dishes and then that you can hang out and chime in on this.

Lois Griffin : Actually, Peter, I haven't done the dishes.

Peter Griffin : Oh, you haven't? Well, then, I'thousand confused.

Stewie Griffin : Oh, he does get sarcasm.

Peter Griffin : Hi, in that location. May I assistance you folks?

Peter's Customer : Yes, my family and I would like our portrait painted.

Peter Griffin : Well, you came to the right place.

[he reveals an easel and painting supplies]

Peter Griffin : [a few minutes later] Looking good. Almost washed. And... at that place. Done.

[showing them the finished painting, they run into the father and son sitting normally, with the married woman and daughter in their underwear kissing]

Peter'south Customer : What take you done?

Peter Griffin : I painted the truth. I painted my truth.

Tea Party Rally Speaker : And at present, it's my privilege to introduce another regular, blueish-collar guy, our Quahog chapter spokesman, Joe Workingman!

Carter Pewterschmidt : [with an obviously bad disguise] Skilful afternoon, friends and socioeconomic equals! Is anyone else out in that location sick of government crap?

Peter Griffin : [as the oversupply cheers] Oh, my God. It'south like he's saying everything I'k listening to.

Carter Pewterschmidt : That'due south right. The government wants to tell you what foods to eat.

[boos]

Carter Pewterschmidt : And what church building you can go to.

[more boos]

Carter Pewterschmidt : And that you tin't own a chimpanzee considering you lot're not responsible enough.

Peter Griffin : [more boos] I would feed it!

Carter Pewterschmidt : Also, the regime wants to tell you how many children you tin can take.

John Herbert : [mortified] What? No!

Carter Pewterschmidt : And the government wants to tell you you tin't throw your sometime TVs into the river.

Conseula : Then how I supposed to observe TV?

Carter Pewterschmidt : If you join the Tea Political party, together, we tin can fix all that. But you probably don't wanna join the Tea Party because all y'all get are these stupid, crawly keychains!

Joe Swanson : [afterwards a oral communication from "Joe Workingman"] I got to say, that guy made a lot of sense.

Glenn Quagmire : He sure did. The government's actually gotten out of hand.

Peter Griffin : Yeah, those bastards have ruined everything. The same fashion the Village People ruined whatsoever gathering of a cop, an Indian chief, and a construction worker.

Peter Griffin : What exercise y'all remember, mom, is that the most cute bride you've always seen?

Bride : I love information technology!

Helpmate's Female parent : Oh, it's only so much coin.

Peter Griffin : It'south true. It'due south true. Take the dress off, sweetheart. Your mother says you lot can't have it.

Bride's Female parent : W-Wait, look, wait a minute. Do you really honey it?

Helpmate : I do. It merely feels like my nuptials dress.

Peter Griffin : Oh, mom, she loves it.

Bride's Female parent : Okay. Nosotros'll accept it.

Lois Griffin : [coming downstairs] Peter, what is that girl doing in my wedding dress?

Peter Griffin : [crawling under the dress's hem] She gone?

Bride : No.

Peter Griffin : Okay, well, while I'm down here, let me requite y'all my card. There you go.

Peter Griffin : Oh, hey, Joe. What's going on?

Joe Swanson : Peter, I'm agape I'm here to shut you down. You're running an unlicensed business, and that'south confronting the law.

Peter Griffin : Aw, that is such bullcrap.

Joe Swanson : Well, you tin can't fight City Hall.

Peter Griffin : Oh, nosotros'll run across about that!

[leaving and coming back browbeaten up]

Peter Griffin : City Hall knows karate.

Peter Griffin : Watch out there, Brian. Looks similar the flooring is wet.

Alan : [passing past] Excuse me. I'm kind of in a hurry.

[slipping on the water puddle]

Alan : Ahhh! Son of a bitch!

Peter Griffin : Oh, my God! Are you okay?

Alan : I'chiliad sad. I've been a flake distracted lately. I think my wife has been crossing the street with another man.

Alan's Wife : [outside, crossing the street with another generic-sign effigy] God, I promise Alan doesn't detect out.

Lois Griffin : Peter, what are you doing?

Peter Griffin : I'thou only puttin' up my new sign.

Lois Griffin : Don't put that matter on our door. If yous want to hang information technology somewhere, hang it in the basement.

Peter Griffin : Oh, why? So you can hog it while you're doing laundry? No way.

Lois Griffin : Peter, nosotros're not a business.

Peter'southward Customer : [coming in] Hey, I saw your sign. And so, you lot're open up?

Peter Griffin : That's right.

Peter's Client : What do yous do?

Peter Griffin : What practise you need?

Peter's Customer : Milk.

Peter Griffin : We have milk.

Peter Griffin : Proficient Tea Party morning, anybody!

Brian Griffin : Peter, you joined the Tea Party?

Peter Griffin : That's right, Brian. I finally got something better to do with my Saturdays than sit at the mall and watch Japanese girls express mirth at normal conversation.

Peter Griffin : Hey, Mort, what's this thing?

Mort Goldman : Oh, that? That's my "Come up in! We're open" sign.

Peter Griffin : What's that, like an iPad?

Mort Goldman : No, it's a sign.

Peter Griffin : Wish I had i of those.

Mort Goldman : I've got a whole box of 'em. Take it. It's yours. No accuse.

Peter Griffin : Ugh, typical Jew.

How the Hell Do You Turn a Phrase Family Guy

Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2040798/characters/nm0532235

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